Shop Humor from Handyman Club of America

A man took his limp duck to the vet, who listened for the bird's pulse with her stethoscope. "Sorry, your bird's dead."


"You sure?" he shouted.

"I'm sure."

"But you haven't tested or anything. He might be in a coma!"

Rolling her eyes, the vet brought a Labrador Retriever and cat into the room. The lab put his paws on the examination table, sniffed the duck and looked at the vet with sad eyes.

The cat jumped up, sniffed the duck, shook her head and meowed softly.

"Sorry," said the vet, "but definitely, the duck is certifiably dead." She then printed out her bill and handed it to the man.

"$150!!" he cried. "Just to say my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "Sorry, if you'd have taken my word for it, it would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the CAT Scan, it all adds up!"