The Coyote

California:


The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

TEXAS:

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

Tangable Results?

Hey there folks,

I thought I'd share some of my 2010 exploits with ya!
Click on the title or follow this link. http://hillbillyhealthmatters.8m.com/

2010 wasn't exactly a great year for most of us, but the "special people" seem to have the government ears. My solution was just do something even if the polititions don't! Sometimes you just gotta ignore lies, and keep your mind occupied. I've made myself a job just to keep myself from getting attacked by the libiots out there.

 I figured I don't want a hand out like those 99ers, bilking our government for every penny of YOUR hard earned savings! I would rather be dependent on the Lord's providence, than accept corrupt cash stolen from Main St. Americans like the 80% who aren't "Special".

So far, so good. I have put my confidence in the Lord and not in the sinful nature of man, Amen?

Shop Humor from Handyman Club of America

A man took his limp duck to the vet, who listened for the bird's pulse with her stethoscope. "Sorry, your bird's dead."


"You sure?" he shouted.

"I'm sure."

"But you haven't tested or anything. He might be in a coma!"

Rolling her eyes, the vet brought a Labrador Retriever and cat into the room. The lab put his paws on the examination table, sniffed the duck and looked at the vet with sad eyes.

The cat jumped up, sniffed the duck, shook her head and meowed softly.

"Sorry," said the vet, "but definitely, the duck is certifiably dead." She then printed out her bill and handed it to the man.

"$150!!" he cried. "Just to say my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "Sorry, if you'd have taken my word for it, it would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the CAT Scan, it all adds up!"